Day Fifteen

Today I am celebrating;

Preparedness

With three nieces and nephews on the way, and two already here, my role in the family feels somewhat diminished. Mainly because we haven't tried to carry on the family line yet. In fact, I find it quite the opposite. We're doing all in our power to not get pregnant. Not to say that we wouldn't like to, but with a move and three more years of school, it seems somewhat impractical. 

However, that also means we have time. Time to learn, to watch, to grow and become who we are meant to be. I've found I learn alot just watching. And with two pregnant sister-in-laws, and two nephews growing taller every day, there's a ton of watching from the sidelines, asking questions and learning going on. 

Plus, with the absence of a job, I've got time to prepare myself. I read my Bible more often, and in different ways. I am so in love with the stories in Genesis and Exodus, I sometimes find it difficult to read other parts. There's National Geographics to study- learning photography tips, how they shoot their photos, and re-evaluating what makes a good photo, different styles of writing, and tweaking my own before school starts. There's time to read, and just wander the library looking for my next adventure, whether it be classic, gothic, sci-fi or even one with a bit of romance in it. There's time to scrapbook, to cut and glue and make beautiful things out of ordinary things. I have time to relax, and watch movies I've wanted to see before, but couldn't because of lack of resources (who knew there were so many movies on YouTube?!), time or school. I have time to bake, to get my hands covered in sticky dough and see my husband smile when we walks into an apartment that smells as if it belongs in the country. And most recently, time to sew. A borrowed sewing machine, scraps of fabric from high school, and an empty table. My first seam was the most thrilling. I practically sang at the wonder of it. (*side note: aside from patches and a few hemming projects, I haven't sewn since highschool. There I created costumes, home things, and even clothes. I still have some of them. end note*)

I feel as if God is shaping me to be the woman He wants me to be. I'm growing spiritually, yes, but I'm learning to be a homemaker. Right now I'm a housewife. It's the only job I have right now. But I'm certainly beginning to enjoy it. I learned to bake bread, not with the help of a bread machine, to sew again, and even a little gardening. I'm in no way an expert, or even close to most of the women around the world and in the past that did this every day, all day, but it's a work in progress. I feel God moving in me, shaping me as a new woman. Preparing me for the future while teaching me who I am now. One day, when I am a mother of God's children. But for now, I am learning.